comedown: i just want my tombstone to say “i’m dead ya dingus”
sandwah: i am so confused right now where am i how old am i where do i live i dont remember This is so… soothing?
pretty girls with short hair exist for the sole purpose of reminding me how much of a great big homo i am.
queefjerkey: sext: i take off my crocs
barryyouasshole: What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business
My daddy told me there’s a lot of fish in the sea, there’s just a lotta motherfuckin’ money, bitches, and weed.
comedown asked: "shut up baby, i know it" i say this all the time, i knew it, we are somehow the exact same person
adorablelittlelesbian: I’ll be going on a gaycation this weekend.
takeavacation: are u trying to tell me it’s not 2010 anymore
larsss: “When shit brings you down, just say ‘fuck it’, and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.” David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day
deathclaw: make your nipples sing
the ghost of booties past
caitlin is biting me and pretending to be a fish